The Love that I lost
by animearchitect
Summary: In this last few days, how will you finally say goodbye to the person who meant so much to you. Will you be able to finally say what you want to say.. or will you just let everything go and say goodbye?
1. Len Tsukimori

**Author's Note:**

**Due to the lack of brain waves circulating in my head, I am now on the verge of thinking that FF hates me sooo much that its shortening the life span of my ever non-existent brain cells when I'm hungry.**

**I wish I can say that this is just in passing, but no, its not and I don't know when it'll get off my back and leave me in peace.**

**So, I hope you enjoy this weird thing of mind that just enveloped me while I washed the dishes and clothes.**

**I DO NOT OWN LCDO.**

* * *

.

.

**_The Love that I Lost_**

_..._

_maybe someday, I'll get to see your smile_

_maybe someday, I'll get to be the one who'll make you smile._

_But I'm sorry if its not today,_

_nor tomorrow._

_Maybe in our next lifetime,_

_I'll finally spend more time with you._

...

* * *

.

.

"Kaho, darling.." a middle-aged woman softly whispered as she stroked a girl with similar flaming red hair lying in a hospital bed.

"Kaho, please wake up.." tears started forming at the edge of her eyes, gently rolling down her pale cheeks as she watched her daughter in her deep slumber.

As she stared long and hard at Kahoko, a surge of uncontrollable tears filled her eyes, making her break down.

"Mom..." a warm hand held the woman in her arms, worry heard in his voice.

"Go home for now. You need to rest..." a comforting smile was bestowed to her as she wiped away her tears.

"No, I can take care of her. You go on home. You still have classes for tomorrow." shaking her head, she held on tightly to Kahoko's limp hands.

"Mom.." this time, he spoke it with determination, "..you've been here since this morning. You need some sleep. Overtaxing yourself won't make her happy when she finds out.."

Sighing in defeat, Kahoko's mother looked once more at her unconscious daughter.

"You're right.. I'll be back tomorrow. I'll bring some food.." and with that, she let go of Kahoko's hands and carried her bag.

"Take care of her.." she spoke for the last time as she left.

...

* * *

...

"Kahoko.." Len felt the name constrict her lungs, taking the little breath he has and suffocating him with immense pain.

He had never dared to say her name out loud like this before. He was afraid of the misunderstanding it would cost him if anyone they knew would hear it from his lips. But right now, he didn't care.

He couldn't care any less.

As he looked beyond the graying sky in that cold day, he felt all the unhappiness in the world giving out a throaty laughter. Mocking him with its triumphant win against him.

But it was nothing worth laughing about.

He wanted to just ignore the many things he's said and done. His behavior. Everything about him.

But he can't.

The coldness in his heart was being swept away just by the mere thought of her name.

The name he had always longed for since they first met in high school.

She was the ray of sunshine in his bleak life. She was the wonderful dawn in the cold and disturbing nights.

And now?

He felt the hard box in his coat pocket and took it out.

And as he opened it, the happiness he felt when he bought the expensive item left him.

He now felt deserted, empty, void of any emotion that he had once felt before that brutal and uncaring morning.

He ran his hands over the smooth silver necklace, the small diamonds twinkling up at him happily, making a small 3-leafed flower. He let his fingers feel the cold silver necklace twist around at the very end of and drop off as it formed flowers once more at the very tips.

He saw the expensive item as he walked through the many shops in Venice, hoping to get some last minute shopping done before he heads off to Okinawa and join the rest of his friends in their annual Christmas party in Seiso Gakuen, the party Kahoko first started, which might now be the very last.

Cursing himself at the thought of it, Len closed the box and returned it to his pocket, looking once more with unseeing eyes at the growing darkness beyond his old room.

Making a last minute decision, Len took one of his winter jackets, slung it over his shoulder and left the house.

...

Walking along the busy streets of Okinawa, Len found solace at the busy humming of the hospital.

Shaking off the snowflakes that clung to his cerulean hair, he traced his steps back to the room he last visited.

As he neared the room, he slowed in steps and faltered.

Through the glass windows, he can see the same scarlet hair sitting by the bedside. Shivering with sudden coldness he felt, Len watched as the man inside flex and stand up.

Pressing his body against the wall, he gave an involuntary shiver as the man caught sight of him.

"Yo, Tsukimori.." the man called out at the hesitant Len.

"Hello.." Len didn't want to appear as a snob, but as he greeted the older man, he felt the icy note of his voice return.

"Come to see her?" Kiyo asked, looking at the still unconscious figure inside the room, lying in the white bed.

"I-I'm not sure.." Len shook his head.

"I'm going to stretch my legs for a while. Take care of her." and with that few words, Kahoko's older brother patted him on the back and left him.

Sighing in defeat, Len entered the room, aware of his emotions running wildly.

And as he neared her bed, Len felt frozen with pain and sadness.

Most of all...

Confused.

.

"Kaho.." Len sat down after what seemed like 30 minutes of pacing up and down the stark white room.

He looked at the familiar face that gave him inspiration in those cold 3 years of studying in Vienna. The face that he longed to touch and melt into one with.

As he caressed her pale white cheeks, cold reached his fingers as one of the many tubes connecting to Kahoko's body brushed him.

And all of a sudden, tears started dropping, blurring his sight of the beautiful female in front of him.

"Kahoko... Why? Why you? A lot of people would be better off! But not you! Never you! Why? Why did it have to happen just when everything was supposed to be happy? Why?" he felt himself lose all of his control, his cold facade dropping like a bomb in front of the emptied vessel of a body.

"Kahoko.. Can you hear me? Look, I even brought you a beautiful necklace! I wanted to give it to you! I wanted to tell you how much I care for you, how much I dreamt of your smiling face every night! Look, I wanted to confess to you how much I love you! How much I wanted to tell you I loved you since the first day I saw you! Come on now! Wake up!"

He watched for some signs of movements, or maybe even response, but all he got was the beeping noise of the machines pumping life to Kahoko.

"Didn't I tell you to wait for me? I told you didn't I? I wanted everything to be perfect! Please wake up! Wake up for me! Please!" Len begged repeatedly as he held on to Kahoko's hands.

"I love you Kahoko. I love you so much! I want you to be a part of my life! I want you to be the one wearing that wonderful white dress, walking down the aisle filled with roses and smiling with the sun in your eyes! Kahoko!"

Once more, silence answered Len's confession of love, making his heart break into pieces.

"Kahoko! Won't you please answer me? Kahoko! I- I don't want you to leave me behind! Please! Please stay with me! I love you!"

As he felt that last tear falling down his cold cheeks, Len knew.

Standing up, he knelt down to Kahoko's face and whispered the words he knew would never get lost in everything.

And with that, he left the room.

.

* * *

**to be continued.**


	2. Aoi Kaji

**Author's Note:**

**Due to the lack of brain waves circulating in my head, I am now on the verge of thinking that FF hates me sooo much that its shortening the life span of my ever non-existent brain cells when I'm hungry.**

**I wish I can say that this is just in passing, but no, its not and I don't know when it'll get off my back and leave me in peace.**

**So, I hope you enjoy this weird thing of mind that just enveloped me while I washed the dishes and clothes.**

**I DO NOT OWN LCDO.**

* * *

.

.

**_The Love that I Lost_**

_..._

_maybe we'll borrow some time_

_and maybe spend it together more than much._

_please don't forget_

_I also want to spend this much time with you._

_But sorry, I have to go_

_maybe we'll meet some day soon._

...

* * *

.

.

"How is she, doctor?" Kahoko's mom peered hopefully at the spectacled man checking over Kahoko's vitals.

"She's doing well. But I don't think she'll be awake anytime soon..." looking at the patient's mother, the doctor knew how little hope he could give this patient's family. But in all essence, he has to be honest. Otherwise, the pain of losing the girl lying in that white bed would be more harder to accept.

"I.. I'm.. thank you.." was the only thing Kahoko's mother could say to ease the constricting pain grabbing ahold of her heart.

"Mrs. Hino.. I have heard that people who sing to patients in a coma recover much faster. Why don't you try it? There is nothing to lose.." offering a gentle smile at the pale mother, he patted her back and left.

"Kaho - dear... I would sing to you every minute of the day if it would bring you back with us.." Kahoko's mother wept, her hands shaking as she stroked Kahoko's pale cheeks.

_You couldn't say_

_Needed someone new_

_You actually thought_

_Deep inside I knew..._

_._

_._

* * *

.

.

Kaji Aoi watched as the scene unfolded right in front of him. Him and a few more other people who held her dearly in their hearts.

He watched in horror as a silver luxury car hit the flushed and happy Kahoko who was waving her arms at them, laughing as she did so. Watched as the screeching of the tire broke the silence, solidifying the truth they had all witnessed.

He was the first one to snap out of the trance and ran for Kahoko's fallen body.

As he got closer, he stopped. He stopped and felt the hot tears forming in his green eyes. Fighting the urge, he knelt down on her and took out his cellphone to dial the hospital.

...

He had begged his grandfather to stretch his visiting limits and let people from the list he drew up to come and visit her anytime. He smiled with relief as his ageing grandfather nodded with understanding and patted him consolingly on the back.

As he walked towards her room, to check up on her condition, he felt each step he took was like a death sentence.

Ever since that day happened, his dreams were filled with the horror inside of him. And it was with hard restraint that he could stop himself from rushing to her bedside and forcing her to wake up.

Now, as he stood at the glass window in Kahoko's room, he understood more than he had in those 3 years he spent being just her friend.

Maybe he should count himself as a lucky guy since he managed to stay close with her . To see her angelic smile and feel her warmth. He knew he should be happy, even with that simple condition. But he craved for more.

He wanted to be the one to always be beside her. To be the one she craved for moments that only lovers would do. Times when he could just hold her hand and no one would question his motives. Where he could kiss her and no one would think twice and punch him in the face.

Everyday that he saw her during practices and performances made him want to share that magical world where Kahoko lived in. To be wrapped around her and never let go. To breathe in the air that she breathed in and share the same laughter she emitted.

But life was more than cruel.

And cruel had a name.

Len Tsukimori.

When he found out Len Tsukimori was returning for good, he decided it was now or never.

Because if Kahoko would see Len once more, he was a goner.

He had known since the very moment he watched the two talk, there was chemistry.

Undeniable chemistry that seemed to goad the two into friction and collide with seemingly wonderful fireworks.

So, he decided to buy the most wonderful ring he could. He wanted to stretch his limit and ask Kahoko before Len made a move. Before everything he wanted collapsed right in front of him.

And everything would be considered finished.

He scourge the entire country, just to find the perfect ring that would state how much Kahoko meant to him. How much he wants to spend his entire life loving her. To devote his strength, life, hope, will and soul.

And so, started on his search and found himself the perfect ring. A ring that embodies Kahoko in every shimmer and sparkle. A ring that would be able to sit in her hand and not be out-shined by her. To symbolize his love for her.

With that, as small laugh escaped his lips.

He had indeed found the wonderful ring. The ring that would boast of everything she stood for him. The ring that would glitter like the diamond stars in the dark sky.

He recalled it from memory as he stood there in front of the glass window of Kahoko.

It was a rather simple yet stunning ring. People who would go for elaborate one's would hardly notice the ring's worth.. nor value.

It had a platinum band in it, with a stunning 5.11-carat radiant cut yellow diamond. He was taken the moment he laid eyes on it. Looking closer at it, he noticed small engraved roses in the band with small pink diamonds as the roses. You would hardly see it unless you really want to take a very close look.

He bought in on the spot, had it placed in a black box and laced with crimson ribbons, and left.

But fate really was having a wonderful time playing with his heart.

Because on the day he was about to ask Kahoko the question he longed for her to answer, Len appeared, carrying a small velvet box that he knew made everything else unimportant.

Len never opened the box in front of them, no, he never showed it to them. He only caught a glimpse of it when it dislodged from his coat's jacket for a second and was no more.

Nevertheless, he decided nothing should change his mind in asking Kahoko out. Even if it meant that he knew he'd lose to Len.

But what a laugh! What a funny coincidence!

He DIDN'T lose to Len at all!

He lost to his own hesitancy and it took Kahoko away from him.

Staring at Kahoko's almost sleeping face right now, Aoi felt the pain constricting his chest, making him gasp for some air.

The pain he felt when he saw Kahoko look at Len with wonderful fascination and a timid schoolgirl crush back in their high school days was nothing compared to what he feels now.

Even the thought that had occurred to him that Kahoko would say 'yes' to Len was insignificant.

What was the use of getting jealous when the girl that they too desire was here, lying in a bed in a vegetative state? Only a fool would think of the jealousy in his heart at a crucial time like this.

Why must fate be this cruel?

Was it all intentional? Or maybe a punishment for all of them. For trying to woo a girl who has not yet set her sights on any of them.

He was like Icarus. Maybe the others felt like him too right now.

Bound by their unwavering love for the same girl, battling it out for her undying attention, and failing at the same time.

It was pathetic.

And HE was pathetic.

He was always yearning for Kahoko's bright star. Always begging for more. Always wanting to have more than what she could give him.

And now, the cruel punishment of all, taking her away from him.

Emotion filled his heart as he watched the tiny machine next to her bedside support her. It was breaking his heart, piece by piece. It was like a puppet show wherein the moment the puppeteer wants to discard his puppet, all he has to do it cut the strings that bind them to one another.

Tears formed at the edge of his eyes.

Hot tears that were falling for Kahoko's faith. The faith that all of them awaited and hated.

What was the use of having millions in his name if in here and now, the girl he loves is hovering between life and death?

Would living in utter normality bring her back?

Tears dropped along his pale skin, tinged with pink due to the cold. Slowly. he raised a hand and touched the glass separating them, breathing in huffs as a shadow fell on his handsome countenance.

"Kahoko... How do I tell you I love you so much? Wake up now.. I want you to know how much you mean to me.. Kahoko..." he touched his cold forehead on the glass, eyes being blurred by tears.

Suddenly, warm air touched his cold skin, making his skin stand up. A gust of cool air caressed his cheeks, carrying with it a whisper of a voice he knew of and could not possibly have imagined.

_Thank you, Aoi._

.

* * *

**to be continued.**


	3. Chapter 1: Remember Us

**Author's Note:**

**Due to the lack of brain waves circulating in my head, I am now on the verge of thinking that FF hates me sooo much that its shortening the life span of my ever non-existent brain cells when I'm hungry.**

**I wish I can say that this is just in passing, but no, its not and I don't know when it'll get off my back and leave me in peace.**

**So, I hope you enjoy this weird thing of mind that just enveloped me while I washed the dishes and clothes.**

**I DO NOT OWN LCDO.**

* * *

.

.

**_The Love that I Lost_**

_..._

_I shared with you so many things_

_I hope that we can do more._

_But I'm sorry that I'd have to say this now_

_this is our last for now, I hope you won't cry._

_I cared for you a lot too_

_its just that..._

_now_

_I have to go on and say_

_._

_._

_goodbye._

...

* * *

**CHAPTER 1: Remember US.**

.

.

"Kahoko..." a tender hand brushed back the hair, despite not really needing to.

Her her was never really messy lately.

Everything was always in place.

Her hair, her lips... and her closed eyes.

"Kahoko.. If you can hear your onni - chan now, please wake up.. Please..." he murmured, setting down his head beside her's.

"I.. I don't think life would ever be the same if you're gone from us... What will I do without your wonderful breakfast? The bento's you prepare for me to work. The..." tears gathered at the end of his eyes as memories and pain started filling his heart.

"...smile you give to me..."

Stroking her cheeks, he felt the tears fall one by one down the immaculate white of her pillows, forming little circles of water on it.

"Kahoko.. Remember what we told each other before I go to work? 'That we'll never give each other a reason to cry forever!'. Please keep your promise, Kaho - chan.." closing his eyes, he inhaled the sterile smell of the hospital that now infused upon her usually strawberry-vanilla one's.

"If you wake up, I promise to always take you out on weekend dates, just the two of us and then we'll talk like we were back when we were kids... Isn't that fun?" forcing out a laugh, it turned into a sob that shook his broad shoulders, weakening his stance.

"I never forgot about you, Kaho - chan.. Even when I was studying in University.. Just because we never got to see each other doesn't mean I forgot my little sister! Kaho - chan, I was doing all of this for you! You!" he gave out racking sobs that shook his entire body while he clutched Kahoko's cold hands, desperate to infuse warmth to her cold one's.

"Please Kaho - chan.. I love you so much! I love you little sister!"

...

Watching his son cry as she stood at the partially open door to Kahoko's room, a single tear trickled down her cheeks.

"I would give my life to have you back Kaho - chan..." she heard her son cry as he embraced his sister's unmoving body.

...

.

* * *

.

"Ma'am. I would like to talk to you immediately." the doctor in a white coat rushed Mrs. Hino to Kahoko's room. The room was empty since Kahoko's brother went out to buy some food.

"Yes, what is it doctor? Is Kahoko's condition worsening?" Kahoko's mother gripped her bag tightly, preparing for the worst since they had wheeled in Kahoko for a CAT scan just yesterday.

Shaking his brown hair, the doctor nodded to the chair, signaling for her to sit down.

Taking the hint, she sat down gingerly, holding Kahoko's limp hand in the process.

Taking out his record board, the doctor coughed several times before starting.

"Well, your daughter's out of danger now. Her body's responding to the medicine we've injected to her and that's a good sign. Though there is a slight problem we've anticipated since she was in a car accident." pausing slightly, he gave her a weird look.

"Does she have to have a part of her amputated? Its okay. There's plastic surgery and prosthetics out there. It doesn't matter! I want to have my daughter back!" she rushed, tears spilling out.

Shaking his head once more, the doctor sighed and continued.

"No, there'll be no amputations, Mrs. Hino. The problem that has arisen doesn't really require any body parts to be removed." bracing himself for the worst, he gave a huge heave and stared straight in her eyes.

"When she does wake up, her memory might be affected and you have to expect that half of her memory might be wiped clean. It seems that your daughter's might have undergone a problems before she figured in that accident. Her brain waves were not really a match to the expected result for a CAT scan after accidents. The only conclusion we guessed is that your daughter is worrying about something."

She looked incredulously at him, shock settling in to be followed by obvious bewilderment.

"Problem? My daughter never talked about anything that's bothering her. She's open about her life to us and we'd instantly know if she's worrying over something."

"I see.." he scribbled down something in his board.

"Well, I think we'll get back to you once we've looked up every possible scenarios. But please, I hope you try to be positive for your daughter. She may not know what you are feeling right now, but she can sense it even in a coma like her's." and with that, the doctor left her, slowly absorbing everything he said in the quiet room.

"Memory... loss."

.

.

* * *

.

.

"Hello. Can you tell me what your name is?" a flashlight probed in her golden eyes, scanning them as she looked on curiously.

"Kahoko. Kahoko Hino." Kahoko answered, frowning as the light probed back and forth.

"Tell me, where did you study?" the doctor asked, now checking for her pulse.

"Middle school is in Seiso Gakuen. College in Seiso... University..." Kahoko faltered suddenly, a sharp pain shot through her a flash of memory resurfaced.

_"You? You still love this man? After everything YOU have gone through! You want to replace me for this worthless man?" _

"Something wrong, Ms. Hino?" the doctor's warm hand stopped, looking worriedly at his patient's stoic face.

Shaking her head, Kahoko mumbled a low "no".

"Well, seems like Kahoko si fine.." the doctor eyed Kahoko warily, not believing his own words.

"I suggest she take a good long rest and only family members can visit first," patting Kahoko's head like a pet, the doctor gave her an encouraging smile and left.

"Well, you heard the doctor!" Mrs. Hino jittered on, oblivious to the blank face of Kahoko, "get some rest sweetheart!" kissing her forehead, Mrs. Hino brushed a stray hair from her face and tugged her son.

"Wait, mom. Lemme just talk to Kahoko for a few seconds..." he smiled charmingly.

"Okay.. I'll be at the lobby.." and with that, their mother flitted away.

"Kahoko.." her brother spoke seriously as soon as the door swung shut, the sound echoing throughout the room.

"Yes, Kamui - niisan?" Kahoko stared at her brother.

"What's wrong with you?" Kamui's gazed tried to penetrate Kahoko's blank eyes.

"Nothing..." she shook her head.

"You know you can tell me anything..." hurt evident in his voice, Kamui hovered.

"Its just that... I.. I'm having these flashback.. and I can't remember why.." Kahoko closed her eyes.

Looking down at his sister, Kamui stopped himself short before engulfing her in a tight embrace.

"I'm always here for you.. Remember that.. ALWAYS.." and he left.

.

.

* * *

.

**_Stop it! You're hurting me! _**_Kahoko squirmed as his grip tightened on her._

_**YOU! You were lying to me? **__he shook Kahoko's arm, furious._

**___WHY? Why shouldn't I write letters to him? He's still my friend! _**___Kahoko bit back the surge of tears as his hands clamped on her pale skin, knowing they'll mark in the morning._

**___LETTERS? These LETTERS you wrote to him are not merely friendly chit-chat KAHOKO! Are you still wishing you had something going on with that man? _**___his voice viciously tore down at her._

**___Please, stop it! You're hurting me already! _**___Kahoko whimpered as blood dripped from her pink lips._

**___Just to show you how serious I am about you, I'm going to teach you a little lesson about HONESTY and STICKING TO ONE PERSON! _**___in that cold tone of his voice, he threw the entire stack of letters, including the one's he opened in that short time, to the burning wood in the fireplace._

**___NOOOOO! _**___Kahoko screamed as she watched the letters she had so lovingly written out for the past month curled up in the flames._

**___Just a reminder, KAHOKO. _**___his voice heavily laid with sarcasm, **I AM YOUR BOYFRIEND.**_

.

.

* * *

**to be continued.**


	4. Kazuki Hihara

**Author's Note:**

**Due to the lack of brain waves circulating in my head, I am now on the verge of thinking that FF hates me sooo much that its shortening the life span of my ever non-existent brain cells when I'm hungry.**

**I wish I can say that this is just in passing, but no, its not and I don't know when it'll get off my back and leave me in peace.**

**So, I hope you enjoy this weird thing of mind that just enveloped me while I washed the dishes and clothes.**

**I DO NOT OWN LCDO.**

* * *

.

.

**_The Love that I Lost_**

_..._

_How can i possibly let go of what was not mine?  
No matter how hard i try, my heart could never lie._

_._

_How can I tell you that goodbyes,_

_actually broke my heart._

...

* * *

.

.

Kahoko watched the ceiling silently as the noise beyond her door signaled the renewed hustle and bustle of the hospital.

She closed her eyes, trying to relax, but a sudden crash vibrated along the walls, sending her spine to stiffen as a new wave of memory resurfaced.

...

_**NO! Please! Don't do this! I beg of you! **Kahoko cried and cried, tears pouring relentlessly along her cheeks as he dragged her across the room._

**_You BEG OF ME? That's something new Kahoko. _**_he laughed at her, his face filled with heavy sarcasm._

**_Please don't! PLEASE! _**_Kahoko tried to take her hand away from his painful grip._

**_No. I think you should do this along with me.. _**_he drawled lazily as they approached a huge mahogany door._

**_Why do you have to do this to me? _**_Kahoko struggled some more as they stopped in front of the door._

**_Because I think you need to be tied down.. _**_he pulled out a clean kerchief and wiped away her tears, giving her a small painful slap to stop her from crying again. **That won't mark.**_

_Kahoko looked at him with disbelief, raising a frightened hand to her cheeks._

**_Time to hit the stage, darling.._**

...

.

* * *

.

Kazuki looked up at the marble exterior of the hospital. His shoulders dropping like the flowers in his hand.

He walked away, throwing the wilted flowers at the nearby trash can and placed his shivering hand inside his coat.

_Useless._

That was the right word to describe himself.

It took him a few more minutes to digest Kahoko's accident, and it took him days to even visit her. And when he finally did, non-family members were banned.

He kicked some stones scattered along the pavement, hitting a particularly bigger one that bounced and nearly hit a cat.

But he didn't care.

The feeling of life being sucked out of him was hovering in the air.

He felt empty, alone and...

_Pathetic._

He felt his attraction towards Kahoko, but he held back.

He kept on holding back himself.

But looking back, he was stupid.

He gripped his chest, pausing, his other hand holding in on a lamp post as his breathing became gasps for air.

Any kind of air.

Any kind that would wipe away the feeling of emptiness now enveloping him.

For a man whose breathing can be held for so long, this was new and scary.

Everything he left slip in his life was now haunting him.

Kahoko Hino.

He should've courted her when Len left for Vienna.

But what did he do?

He clutched his stitch tighter.

Oh yes, he watched men parade around Kahoko like confetti.

And he stood there like an idiot.

What a swell man he is! A very swell man indeed!

He soon continued his walk under the gray sky, stopping here and there to catch his breathe.

Hanging his head like a defeated warrior, Kazuki stopped and took a detour that brought him to the park.

He stopped purposefully as he reached the center.

Resting, he leaned against a large tree he hadn't bothered checking, when something cold and wet landed in his cheeks, making him look up, realizing it was a Sakura tree.

"What the heck is wrong with the world!" Kazuki shouted angrily as the snow started to fall now.

Tears started falling, mingling with the cold snow, making him kneel down in front of a huge Cherry Blossom tree.

His shoulders wracking, his face red.

He had loved Kahoko since the very beginning. Since he met her when they were in high school.

But what was the use of his love, when he hadn't even done anything to make Kahoko realize his love for her.

Tears started forming small icicles on his face, making him cold.

"AHHHHHH!" Kazuki screamed at the top of his lungs, shaking the peaceful surroundings, making the birds squawk and circle along the gray sky.

He sobbed continuously as he dropped to the floor, his figure curled into a fetus.

.

* * *

.

Kamui felt Kahoko's forehead, his hands feeling the heat she emitted.

"Well, I'd say your sister is a bit in a shock.." the doctor took the digital thermometer from Kahoko's ears and placed it in his doctor's coat.

"Shock? But.. I don't understand.." Kamui asked bewilderedly, returning his gaze back to Kahoko's sleeping face, seemingly untroubled.

"You see, because of her car accident, your sister's reaction to events from her past which she promptly forgot are more different than what a normal person would.." the doctor started scribbling down on his pad.

Rubbing Kahoko's warm hands now, Kamui's eyebrows met as he remembered the state he saw Kahoko.

...

_**Kahoko, I'm here with you**_

_**...**_

**to be continued.**


	5. Ryoutaro Tsuchiura

**Author's Note:**

**Due to the lack of brain waves circulating in my head, I am now on the verge of thinking that FF hates me sooo much that its shortening the life span of my ever non-existent brain cells when I'm hungry.**

**I wish I can say that this is just in passing, but no, its not and I don't know when it'll get off my back and leave me in peace.**

**So, I hope you enjoy this weird thing of mind that just enveloped me while I washed the dishes and clothes.**

**I DO NOT OWN LCDO.**

* * *

.

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**_The Love that I Lost_**

_..._

_I will use all my efforts to make her mine.._

_Its impossible..._

___BUT.._  


...

* * *

.

Ryoutaro stood at the doorway.

His long figure casting a longer shadow inside the room, making his heart ache with indescribable pain.

His pianists' finger stroked the door with the same feeling of a lover remembering the route in a passionate lovemaking.

But his hands stopped their stroking and clenched into a fist.

He then pushed the door with a bang and strode determinedly inside.

_Six months... _he thought painfully to himself.

It was six months ago, but he still recalled that day very vividly.

Like a piece of his soul detached itself from him and clung on her frail figure.

Six months MAY have passed, but still...he was still clueless.

.

**FLASHBACK**

.

"Thank you SO much, Chairman Akihiko..." bowing low, Ryoutaro felt his face flush with immense happiness.

"Don't worry, Churo.." Akihiko looked left and right, trying to catch a glimpse of someone.

"Err... Its TSUCHIURA, Chairman.." Ryoutaro frowned.

"Yes, yes.. I know its Suchi.." Akihiko waved his hands away, motioning for Ryoutaro to enjoy himself.

Bowing once again, Ryoutaro looked back once more and watched as Akihiko disappeared from the crowd.

_Weird... _he thought to himself.

He spotted a couple of famous directors and musicians as he walked towards the bar, aiming to get himself mildly sedated with alcohol before prancing around.

...

"Oi!" a sharp slap made him spun around, his eyes glowing brightly and roundly as two familiar people grinned at him.

"Kanayan - sensei! Ousaki - senpai!" Ryoutaro slammed his 6th martini hard on the marble bar top and embraced them.

"Woah!" Kanayan wrinkled his nose, "..you trying to sink to oblivion?"

"Ha ha.." Shinobu laughed.

"Ha ha.. Not really.." Ryoutaro blushed, feeling himself warm up.

"Its not really a great idea to have the lead pianist of the new musical get wasted..." Kanayan tsk-tsked.

"Its okay once in a while, Kanayan.." Shinobu intervened, smiling understandingly at the embarrassed Ryoutaro.

"Its my first time to -" and they all stood motionless as a shriek pierced through the loud music and the huge door leading to the main house burst open, with a familiar flaming red hair running away from the door.

Being tall as he is, Ryoutaro instantly recognized Kahoko and ran after her, catching her before she disappeared at the balcony.

"Kahoko!" Ryoutaro grabbed her arm as he pulled her behind the velvet curtain, away from the prying eyes of the glitter.

Breaking free, Kahoko shook her head, her face contorted in lunacy.

"Hey! What's happening?" both Shinobu and Kanazawa appeared, drawing the curtain down and bathing them in the glow of the moon.

"Stop struggling!" Ryoutaro wrapped his strong arms her as Kahoko continued her struggling, flailing futilely against him.

"Let me go! I told you I don't wanna marry you! Please! Leave me alone! Please!" Kahoko begged, her tears silently pouring down her cheeks, her hair now in a mess.

"Kahoko! Its me, Ryoutaro!" shaking her hard, Shinobu and Kanazawa watched in horror as Kahoko's senses returned and looked at Ryoutaro, a large red mark on her cheek, the size of a man's hand.

"Please! Get me away from here! I don't want to be here! Please!" fresh tears cascaded down her marble cheeks.

"Shh.. Its okay..." Ryoutaro murmured in her ears, wrapping her even more tightly.

"Seesh.." Kanazawa ran a frazzled hand over his silver hair.

"Here, take my car keys and bring her to your place.." giving him his keys, Kanazawa looked around them, "..and be quick.."

.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

.

He grinned as small pieces of the 6 months he spend with Kahoko resurfaced as he touched the sheets she would wrap herself in..

_Kahoko cooking him some beef stew.._

_Kahoko planting some roses inside the indoor zen garden._

_Kahoko accidentally loosening a bit of his grand piano key._

_Kahoko cuddling a lost kitten when they went out for a spur-of-the-moment dinner._

_Kahoko soaking under the rain._

_Kahoko. . . _

_Kahoko. . . . _

He reveled as he clutched the stitch in his chest.

His heart never pounded like this. . so fast and at the same time. . . so gentle.

"Gah!" he kicked the foot of the bed.

"What the heck is wrong with me!" he screamed angrily.

He was in the age wherein he was most ripe. . . and yet. . he was a goddamn bachelor and a virgin.

He can't stomach the thought of how long he wanted to wait for the right girl.

The girl he'll first sweep her off her feet, make her feel special, needed, cared for and wanted.

Then. . .

Then he'll make her into a true woman.

But he felt cursed.

Cursed by his undying love for the red-haired siren he had known since their highschool days.

She was more than what he could ask for.

More so. . . .

She was in love with the man he used to consider as his mortal enemy.

The man who casually shook her, cold-shouldered her and now...

...he had made her fall in love with him.

The wonder of it all.

But he couldn't stay in that same hated scenario.

He would NEVER stay in that way.

Ryoutaro closed his eyes, suddenly remembering something.

_"Let me go! I told you I don't wanna marry you! Please! Leave me alone! Please!"_

If Kahoko loves that bastard Len Tuskimori so much, why would she say such words.

And furthermore, if he remembered correctly, Len was on tour in Austria with a bunch of other musical prodigy ice packs like himself.

"Who were you running away from, Kahoko?"

.

_**...**_

**to be continued.**


	6. Chapter 2: The Lover Returns

**Author's Note:**

**Forgive me for the lack of updates recently. . . I've been busy and will be getting busier in a few months. . *achoo!***

**I have a flu, so don't ask. . . **

**I DO NOT OWN LCDO.**

* * *

.

.

**_The Love that I Lost_**

_..._

_If at dawn we threaded over something,_

_come with me underneath these sheets..._

_Let's hide until we get lost from the world of dreams._

...

* * *

.

Carefully walking along the white hall of the hospital, he made a gesture of acknowledgement to the passing nurses, careful enough not to alert the person he plans on visiting. According to the nurse who gave her her medicines, Kahoko was now quietly asleep and her brother stepped out for a while to get some dinner before she woke up.

Stopping in front of the suite room on the 4th floor, he slowly opened the door, carefully making sure to not make it squeak or creak a single sound.

As he entered, he softly walked towards her and sat on the empty chair beside her bed.

"Alas, I have caught up to you again, my darling belle..." he softly murmured as he watched her relaxed sleeping face. "The trouble you've been bringing me is too much..."

Standing up, he caressed her rosy cheeks and kissed her forehead.

"You're such a troublesome lady... even when you were in high school..." touching her vibrant red hair, he held it up to his nose as he breathed in the rich smell of strawberries and morning dew attached to it.

"What should I do, to make sure you wouldn't run away from me ever again? Should I have your annoying courtier, Ryoutaro, die an accidental death?" a small smile touched Kahoko's face as he rubbed his thumb and forefinger against her neckline.

"Or should I make sure that your unrequited love, Len, never returns to Japan when he decides to attend the Concerto in Venice?" slowly, he inched his face closer till it was just a breath away and licked Kahoko's ear.

"Or should I just get rid of all them at the same time till you finally realize that as long as you keep running away from me, each and everyone you hold dearly will keep on meeting accidents...like Mr. Azuma Yunoki?" he let out a deep sigh as he nibbled Kahoko's earlobes, making her elicit a soft moan of pleasure.

"Think about it, my darling... There's still plenty of time left to save such pitiful souls before I destroy each and everyone of them..." he stood up and stroked Kahoko's face one last time.

"Azuma was such a wonderful man... if only he hadn't decided to meddle in our business and tried to destroy my grand ideas..." and with one last chuckle, he opened the door and left.

"HUH! Onii-chan?" Kahoko sat up from her bed, looking around for any signs of her older brother.

Finding no one else, Kahoko stroked her cheeks, remembering how familiar the feeling was.

"I must have been dreaming..." letting her hand drop to her side, Kahoko laid back down on her bed and closed her eyes.

"Yes, it must have been a dream..."

.

_**...**_

**to be continued.**


End file.
